When loved ones pass on, we are left with constant thoughts of them. Not only do they fill our daytime thoughts, they often visit us at night in our dreams. How does missing the departed affect our lives?

What should we do to avoid the negative effects of missing our loved ones so much? Why do we dream about them even when we haven’t been frequently thinking of them? How should we deal with loss and death?

Apart from giving offerings to the deceased on Qingming Day, during the Ullambana Festival, and on the anniversary of their death, are there any other ways to help them?

Let’s listen to Grandmaster JinBodhi’s insights.

【You willearn】

  • The disadvantages of missing a deceased loved one too much
  • The best way to help a deceased loved one

【Featured aphorism】

All people are part of the cycle of life and will one day return to Nature. If you understand this, you can accept it.
Often dreaming of a deceased loved one takes a toll on your vital energy.


Regardless of your love, you shouldn’t miss them often. These are my thoughts and experience. Avoid connecting often with this negative energy, except on dates like Qingming Festival or Ullambana Festival, when you honor and remember your deceased relatives. Then you must remember them. This is a must.

Somebody’s mother passed away 5 years ago, but she still cries every day. That is not good. Even if you cry for just one year, dreaming of them, they will come for you. That is troublesome. You shouldn’t die, but they will take you. Although you have no ID there. You shouldn’t go, but you will, and you will suffer. Remember and understand Natural Laws. Sometime, we will leave this body and world to reincarnate. When our relatives pass, we can only chant for them bless them to reincarnate to a good family or Heaven. This is most important.

Don’t think, “I miss you so much. You appear in my dreams.” Don’t connect with them. When you lack healthy life energy, you easily dream of them. Deceased people come to chat, this is horrible. Your positive, healthy energy starts decreasing. This is a dangerous sign, not good. When you have this dream, hurry to come meditate. Practice at least 2 hours every day to live longer. I am not kidding. It is true. If you always dream of them coming for you but you don’t want to go, practice more to increase your healthy energy. They can’t take you.

Miss them less. Offer lights before Buddha. Let them be liberated. Say: “Don’t disturb me. I don’t want to go.” Some don’t have any illness, but in half a year, they die of depression. Taken by their deceased. You missed them too much. They say, “If you miss me, let me take you.”

You must heed it. If you encounter this, you should practice hard and offer lights. Invoke buddhas, bodhisattvas, or deities to stop them, and they won’t take you.