【Description】
In The Analects of Confucius: Xue Er, Zengzi highlighted the importance of handling our parents’ funeral affairs according to tradition and honoring our ancestors with sincerity.
If a family member passed away long ago and may have since been reincarnated, should we still honor them? Honoring ancestors and remembering deceased relatives can deepen our affection for our family; what’s the other significance?
Please click on the video and listen to what Grandmaster JinBodhi has to say.
【You will learn】
- The purpose of honoring the dead
- Aspects of blood lineage
【Featured aphorisms】
- Provide the deceased with a blessing to relieve your longing for them.
【Content】
（Hello, Master. A family member passed away a long time ago; I am unsure if they have reincarnated into a new life. In this case, do I still need to honor them?)
They passed away many years ago. At this point, people are concerned whether, after being gone for 60 years, a grandmother has already reincarnated. Maybe she has been reborn in a different country, or has become a deity in Heaven; these are possible. If she has already been reborn as a human or became a deity, should we stop honoring her?
I think that what makes a person human and makes us feel happy and joyful is the loving connection that flows between people. Humans have emotions. There are many kinds of emotions. Love is only one form of emotion. There is love at first sight, and love that comes with time through working together. An unchangeable love is the love of family; it is tied by blood, like mother and son, father and daughter. These are all blood relationships.
After the parents give birth to a child, their love for the child is really hard to change. That is the love of family. We give care, devotion and affection because of this love. We would even be willing to give our lives, right? That is family love. A couple in love also shares this feeling. True love means you would be willing to die for each other. This strong emotion is the core of love stories. All of this is true.
If your elders passed away many years ago, and they didn’t do anything bad in their lifetime, and you are living comfortably and smoothly, should you stop honoring them? My answer is that we still need to keep honoring. If they are not in hell, and they have reincarnated as a person or have already become a deity who is no longer on Earth, do we still need to honor them? Yes. Offer them blessings and well-wishes to show our respect and to ease our longing for them. Isn’t that good?
Say, you have a child who has become a wealthy person; as a parent, you will at least pray for the safety of the child, right? It is not that since he is wealthy now, you are no longer concerned for him. If he has become the president and has a lot of power in his hands, you don’t need to pay any attention to him; would this happen? I don’t think so.
The shared love won’t change, no matter how the person’s status changes. The care for each other won’t change. The heart of affection and love won’t change. We share this love with all family members who have passed on, including our elders, younger generations, when the child passes before the parents, fetuses and infants, regardless of age. We have this love for all of them. We should always express our love, no matter how much time has passed.
When it comes to important dates, such as the Qing Ming and Ullambana Festivals, the period of mourning after a parent’s passing, and the anniversary of their death, we should honor and offer to them, express care and well-wishes, and pray for Buddha and bodhisattvas’ protection over them. This is really important.
Honoring, respecting and remembering our ancestors is how we pass down family legacy through blood. Blood relationship is not limited to a scientific understanding: A fertilized egg gradually grows in a mother’s womb and eventually is born. That is only the physiological phenomena. The reality is not that simple. Aside from your looks, physical state and wisdom, they have passed on to you their good, bad, kindness, evil, as well as the support of their energy.
So we should all honor and remember our ancestors and family members who have passed. It can enhance your loving connections with your family, teach your kids to respect you, and increase your respect and love for your bloodline. Your family relationships will become better. Your life will become healthier and smoother.
So I think when it comes time to pay honor and respect, don’t forget. This is my answer.