【Description】
All considerations regarding marriage must be taken seriously. Ideas about marriage are always evolving, and these days many traditional notions have been overturned. However, some parents may still hold conventional views
about when their children should marry, and the differences between traditional and modern ideas may fuel conflict. Is there an appropriate time to get married?
Grandmaster JinBodhi offers us some insights on marriage. He also suggests a marriageable age range that may be more likely to result in a happy union.
【You will learn】
- The secrets to a happy marriage
- A marriageable age range that could lead to more happiness
【Content】
“Hello, Master. My mom always nags me to marry soon. How do I get her to understand marrying at age 30 isn’t too late?”
You can marry whenever you like. That is my advice, OK? Without impulsiveness, or losing their minds, people wouldn’t get married. In the intimacy of youth, when the naive couple don’t understand each other, the happiest marriages happen. After becoming “doctors” of each other, the male knows the female well, vice versa. When they get married, it is like two top martial artists living in the same room, it is full of risk and danger. All the courtesies are fake. Each hides a sword or a scalpel. Such “happiness” is suffering. Only irrational marriages can bring happiness. Sensible people could hardly feel happy in marriage, as happiness is fake. You feel upset in the morning, yet you have to greet and hug like two presidents.
It is not silly love. Even if you die, you still love her. You love her when seeing her. Why? You don’t know. This silly love is the purest and happiest. Happiness is mental, not physical. When you feel mentally happy, that is happiness. When you are very reasonable, happiness decreases. When the couple treat each other with courtesy yet scheme against each other, there is no happiness anymore. The older we get, the more reasonable we are, the less happiness we have. If you want to have the happiness of love, go for it as early as you can. Do it after your 20’s. Otherwise you will be too naïve to cherish it, right? Your happiness won’t last long.
Learn to cherish each other, unconditionally. Once seeing it through, you’ll feel no happiness. No man is perfect, nor woman. When you see imperfection, pain and conflicts arise. How could you be happy? So, good timing is between 20 – 35. Get married as early as possible, if you meet the right one. Delaying will be troublesome. Your mom’s concern with your marriage shows her care and love. Only your mother would do so. A stepmother would try to keep you to do more housework, right? How nice to have a free long-term nanny. Silly girl, you should understand and appreciate her. As you grow old, the food you miss most is the rice soup and bun your mom cooked, then you realize her love. So appreciate and show filial piety to her while she is alive. In case you are aware some day, she is gone. What a miserable thing it is.