【Description】
Parental concern over a child’s academic performance can give rise to arguments between parents and kids. When there is a gap between the parents’ expectations and the children’s grades, some parents may respond with harshness.
In this video, a mother and daughter ask Grandmaster JinBodhi for help in resolving their conflicted relationship. If you have similar issues, pay attention. Grandmaster JinBodhi’s advice will bring you helpful guidance and a new way of thinking.
【You will learn】
- To look at academic achievement rationally
- An easy-to-accept attitude that facilitates communication with your children
- The importance of knowledge
【Content】
“Why can’t you get better scores?”
“I don’t often scold her as I don’t like us hating each other. Children’s education is the biggest priority for parents. ”
It’s School Time
(Hello, Master. I am Miao-yi from Taipei, Taiwan. I lack motivation and perseverance. I can never focus when I study. This has caused my grades to drop. To motivate me, my mom says, “Why can’t you get better scores?” Her comments provoke conflicts. “Why can’t you get better scores?” “You can do better than that.” “You can’t fall behind the others.” My mom is quite smart. She did well in her studies. She hoped I could be like her or do better. I hope we can solve this.)
(I am Miao-fa. I expect a lot from my child. My colleagues and schoolmates’ children do well in their studies. I didn’t care about her grades in elementary school. I hoped she could do better in high school. I let her spend time on the phone and on fun reading. But this made her grades drop. I was angry about it. I don’t often scold her, as I don’t like us hating each other. But conflicts between us never cease. I can’t stand this anymore. I understand Master’s teaching: Academic performance isn’t everything. I think she should maintain her scores at a certain level. That is good for her future, right?)
As a mother, you are a bit too direct. Although she has bad grades, whatever the reason, please don’t talk to her like this. Her grades don’t determine her future. I am not saying you shouldn’t study. Being a top student doesn’t mean the brightest future.
Your daughter has her own character; you can’t change that. Educating children is the biggest responsibility for parents. You are using a stern approach to motivate her. I understand your feeling as a mother. I think your words could be softer.
You want your kid to become a moral person with good manners, a person who is self-sufficient. Asians should avoid harsh words when talking to their children. Avoid beating them. You will just get negative results. Your daughter will not hit back, but she will stop listening to you. She will reject you. Nothing you say will work anymore. I understand that parents become harsh when they are out of options. No parents want to hurt their children. They are just frustrated that their children can’t be better.
I think I know why your grades have dropped. After school, you don’t spend enough time on review. That is the reason. Few people naturally like studying. One out of 10 at the most. Or one out of 30. But once she sets her goals, she will become mature and study hard. Studying hard is the fastest way to reach goals.
If you don’t have good marks in elementary and high school, you can’t enter a good university. Then you may not even get a job; how can you contribute to society? The more knowledge and wisdom you have, the more you contribute to society. Without knowledge, you can hardly help others. You can’t even help yourself. How can you help others?
Parents are children’s teachers; talk with kids in a gentle, warm manner. Children need self-discipline. For success, they need to set goals and study.