【Description】
Are you troubled by afflictions involving relationships with family members or others, or your emotional life? Are you searching for effective methods to get rid of affliction and stress? Congratulations, as this is your chance to experience liberation! In Learn to Be Happy, Meditation Master JinBodhi uses his trademark humorous, easygoing teaching style to analyze the internal and external causes of unhappiness in modern people and offer a solution. You will burst out laughing and be inspired, and your afflictions will vanish while listening to this teaching. Get ready for the meaning and purpose of your life to become crystal clear.
【Content】
Happiness is indispensable in one’s life. But fast-paced modern life brings everyone various pressures and afflictions. People grow unhappy. Internet friends worldwide, through varied means, seek help from Meditation Master JinBodhi on how to be happier.
“Hello, Master. I’m 24 years old and very sensitive. I am very emotionally reactive. I try my best to control my emotions, but when I’m troubled, emotions arise. How can I control my feelings?”–Sensitive Rabbit
“Master, why do I have difficulty curbing my temper? Even though I know It is wrong to get angry, I just cannot control myself. Afterwards, I regret it. What should I do?” –Hot-tempered Lion
After hearing from our Web friends, Meditation Master JinBodhi gave his opinion.
Mood Swings
Mood swings. It is related to age. My grandma said my grandpa became mellow after age 76. Before his 75th birthday, he was still hot-tempered. My grandma said that she finally had hope of living in peace during their final years. However, the change in him scared her, as he lost the energy to get angry. She was afraid that she would lose the man who had always raged at her, yet loved her so dearly.
At times, showing anger can caution others. Unpleasant things or people or being explosive can warn the other involved. So, anger is not always a bad thing. What is anger, exactly? We lose our temper. Our original intent is to warn the other, but we end up arguing instead. Some males may even end up physically fighting. That’s going overboard.
Keeping our emotions in control is a learning process. One who is always angry usually has too much energy. So, if you tend to lose your temper, don’t practice qigong. The more you practice, the angrier you will be. Second, eat less spicy food, less energy replenishing food, such as eggs. Many kinds of meat heat up our system, so eat less. Then you will have less anger. Prepare some cooling herbal tea. Let me recommend one to you. It is a medicinal herbal tea, a special Cantonese product in China. It is the 24-herb cooling tea, which tastes a little bitter. Temperamental people should drink this tea. It helps to cool down the internal system. Is drinking this tea an indication of sickness? Losing your temper a lot is a sickness.
People with brain blockages should come to meditate. Temperamental people are welcome here. If you come, your family will become happier. Maybe you often argue with your family, but through meditation, you will become mellow. They will be very happy.
There are problems with frequent anger. Let’s summarize. Firstly, too much ‘fire’ in the body is a sign of youth. Secondly, it is an illness or a lack of wisdom. Blockages in the body create anger, which doesn’t solve matters. Using anger to solve problems indicates a lack of wisdom. Is there a medication that will develop wisdom? What can we do? Practice meditation. Come here to chant or prostrate. For hot-tempered people, I have a simple solution for you. It takes only a minute to learn. It is prostration. Prostration is good for hot-tempered people. Bow your head, kneel down, and lie facedown. Knock your forehead on the floor three times. Prostration is great!
I lose my temper less and less. From time to time, we encounter an irritating person. They did something wrong for no good reason, yet they kept arguing with us. My dear fellow practitioner, don’t be angry. Instead, talk things over amicably. Don’t argue or fight. For the most part, I don’t get angry, even if the other party stays furious for an hour. I’m like my grandfather. He mellowed when he turned 75. I managed to mellow at 25. The anger was gone. Perhaps my energy had been “consumed”. Prostration really douses the fire, especially for those who get angry easily.
Reasons for Anger
Anger is a kind of illness caused by either excessive energy or a lack of wisdom. Blockages in the brain or insufficient blood circulation (when the heart is too weak to pump blood) make the brain function improperly. Such dysfunction causes unwise thinking. So, you tend to lose your temper. Most times, it is caused not by a lack of wisdom but insufficient blood circulation. The result is still a lack of wisdom. For such problems, prostration is the solution. It activates the blood circulation from the heart. By knocking your forehead, the blood and oxygen easily reach your head. Especially, through my own experience and study of Buddhadharma, its physical experiences, and meditation, I have concluded, or discovered, that by knocking your forehead against the floor, or even without physically hitting the floor, your wisdom can be awakened. For me, I find myself much wiser now than I was in my youth. I’m no longer slow-witted.
I would also like to highlight another reason for anger: lack of understanding and lack of empathy. I grew up in China, where in various situations understanding is appreciated. Understanding is important. Say, you understand me. Parents understand their children; teachers understand their students. I assume teachers understand their students as they teach them every day. Teaching children is their profession. They must know them well. Knowing is understanding. When kids are mischievous, parents who don’t understand them wonder why they jump on the bed or play with a stone for hours. How fun can that be? It is because they are kids. It is a parents’ blessing if their child is able to play by himself. If we are understanding, we will find it reasonable. If we aren’t understanding, then whatever our relationship is, we will create misunderstanding and afflictions.
Today, many parents dislike their children and want them to grow up quickly. When the child becomes a teenager, there are new things to disapprove of. What do parents disapprove of? How about kids surfing the Web? Raise your hands, parents, if you disapprove of this. Many parents wonder how to change their child’s computer habits. It is simple. First of all, congratulations! Your kid’s intellect is basically normal. Why do I say this? A mentally challenged child would worry you. The ability to surf the Web indicates normal intelligence. Being able to use the Internet seems like a magical feat. The ability to play games indicates above-average intelligence. Knowing how to download games or photo-edit a beautiful girl onto their chubby mother’s picture to create a new picture with a beautiful figure but still with their mom’s face. That’s a high-tech ability. When parents learn about their children’s skills, they think that though their kids are quite annoying, they are very capable; thus, I congratulate them. Once you understand them, you will have no worries. You will not scold them anymore. Learn to guide them. Let me repeat a story of my friend that I have told many times.
There was a young mother, and my friend went to visit her. This is what he told me. The younger mother’s child immediately served the guest tea or rice. The child was only a few years old. Then, bang! He slipped and fell onto the ground and broke the bowl. The mother didn’t ask her child if he was hurt. Instead, she yelled, “You useless kid! Do you know how much this bowl cost?” This is ridiculous. Such a mother! Do you think she is right? No. This is quite obvious. But this mother didn’t think she was wrong. She said, “I just treasure my resources. I live frugally.” Her perspective on life is correct. There is no absolute right or wrong way. It all depends on your point of view. If you let a child serve food, wouldn’t you worry that he might get burned? If he breaks a bowl, it is lucky if he is not cut. Most mothers, seeing such a thing, would say, “Oh, dear, it is a blessing he was not cut.” They would feel grateful. But the mother in my story scolded her child. Her reasoning was that she only had ten bowls. If one broke today, another one tomorrow, then in ten days there would be no bowls to use. That was her calculation. It sounds reasonable. However, I feel this mother shouldn’t have scolded her son.
Whatever happens, if you see matters clearly through, you will avoid losing your temper. Couples who are dating tend to argue. They argue more after marrying. Understanding the other party is key. You may have various reasons to argue. The key is whether you understand him. Wherever I go in the world, there are women telling me about their troubles.
They ask, “Master, how can I fix my problem?”
“Tell me, what’s your problem?”
“My husband used to love me very much, but in the last two years, he has changed.”
“Is some spirit haunting your home?”
“No, he has fallen in love with something else?”
“Fallen in love for someone else? There must be a reason for that. Who is it? Is there a photo?”
“No, he has fallen in love with the computer.”
“Oh, my god! What a relief! He’d fallen in love with a computer, not having an affair. No need to worry then, as he just loves the computer, not someone else. Right? It is a computer, not even a female robot. Why are you worried? Does he use the computer at home or outside?”
“At home. That annoys me.”
“Why?”
“Why doesn’t he spend more time loving me?”
I say, “You are not the computer.”
“At times, we ask for too much, don’t we? In fact, you should be happy. Your husband is at home on the computer. At least, he is within view. It is all within your control. First, he is not having an online affair.”
“He is only playing games, right? Or, maybe he is watching the news, or cropping a photo, or emailing for business, or working online. You are concerned that he is spending more time on the computer than with you. That’s not the way to analyze this problem.”
You shouldn’t worry about it. Why? First, you should be happy that you are married; today, many women are single. Second, he went online only after he finished cooking and washing the dishes. However, you went straight to the bedroom without helping. Not many husbands appreciate that kind of wife? It is a blessing that he doesn’t run wild. Don’t you think so? He needs great fortitude to play games. If he were not dearly in love with you, and for the sake of the children, he would have gone somewhere else with his laptop. So, understanding brings happiness. You will not be afflicted. Without understanding, you easily lose your temper. Did you attempt to be understanding before you got angry?
A person who often loses their temper tends to think others are wrong. They may not be wrong. Perhaps you are the ignorant one. This is the third reason for anger: limited knowledge. Another reason is selfishness. Most people experience gain and loss, which easily leads to mood swings. Think about it. Half of all problems relate to personal gains and losses. Say, your neighbor’s house and yours are similar. Right? You live in the same neighborhood. Your house may be newer or older, but the quality is similar. Perhaps both income levels are similar too. Especially in an ordinary neighborhood over many years, all the neighbors live a similar life. Everyone works for a living. But one day, Lady Luck pays a visit to your neighbor. They win the lottery. A multimillion-dollar lottery. The cumulative assets of your whole family aren’t worth $1 million. Neighbors congratulate them on their sudden windfall. But some jealous neighbors sneer, saying, “Why did he win such a huge lottery and not me?” Some are so furiously jealous that they set fire to the lucky house, thinking, “Since you are so bright, we will brighten you further with fire.” Why did they do that? Jealousy! Why are they jealous? Because someone got extra money, but they didn’t get any. That’s jealousy! All actions stemming from jealousy are selfish.
Those easily agitated by many things lose their temper. Such people are narcissistic and selfish, lacking in compassion and civic consciousness. Excessive selfishness fuels a hot temper. Selfish people tend to find fault with others. Even if others have no fault, they will still feel that others are in their way. When others are better off than them, they start finding fault. They may not be right, particularly, if they are temperamental. They may think that others’ mistakes trigger their anger, but often they are wrong. Let me tell you: If you are such a person, think about it: Does the case describe you?
Methods to Reduce and Avoid Anger
How can you overcome a bad temper? It may not be easy, but let me try to advise you. First, I mentioned earlier the issue of excess energy. You may have too much energy. If that is the case, actually, I praise you. You have the restless energy of youth. It is stronger than that of older folks. But some fail to turn the energy into brainpower. Instead, they use their mouth to blame and scold others. Their energy is used for the wrong purpose.
What is the second problem? It is lack of wisdom. In some cases, the brain is compressed by the skull. Some people’s skulls are too small, so the brain doesn’t have sufficient space to function well. Brain function may be reduced or even blocked. Imagine the brain as 100 strings that are unobstructed, transmitting energy and messages. But some ‘strings’ may be blocked or the energy is unable to flow freely. It is like the inside of a water pipe; often a thick layer of rust develops inside the pipe, so that when you turn on the tap, only a little water flows out. If you have such a brain blockage, your intelligence will be limited.
As for the problem of limited knowledge, in fact, we need a learning process. Learn to understand others. Learn a bit of psychology. Humans all have similar problems. Much of human behavior is reasonable, but at times you may not see your own flaws, just those of others. Learn something about compassion and Universal love. If you are with a sage, you will experience the awakening of wisdom. Conversely, if you meet an ordinary person, you will merely learn their perspective. I hope you will have the opportunity to learn from some great ancient philosophers and today’s as well. If you cannot find any great masters, come and find me, a teacher of less eminence. Come and listen. You may get inspired.
What I teach is applicable to daily life and is easy to learn. Be compassionate and forgiving. If you do, unexpected gain arises. After coming here, many experience gains. After a month of learning, almost everyone’s anger diminishes. There is a decrease in the number of angry outbursts. Do you agree? Indeed. This is especially so for women. This reminds me of a Hong Kong movie called Kung Fu Hustle, which depicts human nature. In the movie, one of the characters, a landlady, had an ability called the “Roar of Lions”. Whenever she hollered, everyone ran away. She symbolizes a nagging woman. Nagging is like brandishing an invisible sword at someone. So, be careful when you express yourself.
Also, learn to do more good deeds without any expectation of reward. Help those in need, the weak, and the begging mendicants. When you see someone in trouble, if possible, help them. Compassionate acts change your fundamental way of thinking. In the past, the old, familiar ‘you’ always expected to be served. Only then, did ‘you’ feel happy. You can change. Be selfless. Help others unconditionally. Start now. Just do it. You may receive a reward.
For myself, when I help someone, I feel happy and comfortable. I assume that you feel this way too. Don’t you? In Bodhi Meditation, almost everyone helps others. After helping others, we feel happy. After hearing me say this, some narrow-minded people will start to help others. After helping, they will come to me, “Why didn’t I get happiness and other benefits?” Helping others takes a long time to render a result. The key is what you gain. Is it suffering or ease and joy?
Don’t look at others’ attitudes. The key is what you get in your innermost self. If you always help others, prostrate, meditate, and care for others, your body will be at ease and relaxed.
The phrase “at ease” in Mandarin is a special term. It is the feeling of relaxation, serenity, carefree, and harmony, the best feeling of being one with the Universe. Such a mental state is what we call being “at ease”. If your body’s internal circulation is smooth, you will not have any obstructions. If your heart is unobstructed, the blood flow will be normal. Then your brain will be fully functional. Without brain obstructions, with normal blood flow and an adequate supply of oxygen, you don’t need to develop wisdom because your brain is already wise. If you meditate frequently, you will develop greater wisdom. I mentioned multiple aspects of development. So, to learn to help others, just start.
If you get angry for no reason and later regret it, try to reflect on your behavior and avoid doing things you will regret. When you feel anger rising, remember this: Put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you think someone is wrong, and you are angry, think to yourself, what if I were in his position?
There was a disciple in Hong Kong who said, “Master! I’m very angry!”
“Why?”
“I hired a foreign domestic helper to cook our meals because we were so busy at work. We have a very expensive brand name frying pan. The helper worked hard. In fact, she worked so hard, scrubbing my pan that she scrubbed away half its value. She damaged the pan by scrubbing it with a steel pad. My bright, shiny pan was scratched. The scratches were so deep that I could feel the roughness.”
She felt very upset over the damaged pan. She had wanted to tell the worker, “I hired you to work, but all you’ve done is cause damage. Look at how you scrubbed my pan. It is as if you scrubbed my heart. I’m in excruciating pain.” I asked her, “What do you intend to do?”
“I’ll fire her. I don’t want her anymore.”
I replied, “Then you will have to wash your own pans.”
“I don’t have time. That won’t work. I’ll get a new helper.”
I said, “The new one might scrub your face while you sleep or scratch other household objects. You should let this helper know she didn’t scrub the pan properly.”
She said, “I thought she knew.”
I said, “She comes from an underdeveloped place. The only electronics in the village are electric lights.
She is poor and has seen nothing of the world. When she arrived at their place, she had to learn using the toilet and was constipated for three days. She was not used to it. It was all new to her, right? Yet, she worked hard. Since the pan has been scratched, let it be. Just buy a few more pans as backups in the future. Also, as I always said bowls, plates, pans, and pots are considered good kitchenware, if they are durable and can withstand scrubbing. Don’t buy extremely expensive ones, in case you damage them. If you ask a helper to scrub, expect there to be damage.
If you lose your temper, you will regret it later. So, learn to control your temper. Don’t do things you will regret. Losing your temper is harmful. Once you have hurt someone, it is like that scratched pot. You may apologize or compensate for any damage, but the scratches remain. What is done cannot be undone. Right? Especially porcelain bowls, once they break, however much glue you use to piece it together, the cracks will always be there. Indeed, once the damage is done, an apology is like the glue, and the scars remain. If not fixed properly, it may cause injury. So, don’t lose your temper so easily. When emotions flare, put yourself in the other’s shoes. What if you were the helper? She was not used to modern life, so it is normal to make a mistake. Everyone here, in whatever situation, needs to stand in another’s shoes and think from their perspective. This can solve half of all problems.
Once you understand others, you become more tolerant. That’s what happens. Perhaps the other person went too far. If he intentionally made such a mistake, blame her. But even if he was your own brother, your own sister, or your own child, would he do everything as you wished? That’s impossible. Even within your own family, you still damage each other, right? Perhaps the word “damage” is too strong, because they are all minor hurts. Right? All these minor hurts don’t seem to create major pain and suffering. If you still live together, it is because of the tolerance that comes with love. If it is not your family, you cannot take it. If it was your husband who damaged the pan, you might not have gotten that angry. If it had been your children, you might have gotten even less angry. If you damaged the pan, you would blame the pan, and yourself, for buying such an expensive pan. Right? Or you would blame the person who bought the pan. So with understanding, you can calm your emotions.
However understanding you can be, if you still lose your temper, but still want to take control of yourself, I will tell you a secret, a mantra. Do you want to hear it? (Yes.) That mantra is to count 1, 2, 3 and then walk away before you explode. Run! Go somewhere that’s relaxing like a park or a restaurant. Have some food, and you will calm down. If you happen to be about to explode at the moment you are hungry, your anger will be worse.
Things become easier after eating. A hungry man is an angry man. Without food in the stomach, the brain lacks blood and oxygen, and the rational becomes irrational. In addition, every month women experience menstruation. Those days can be challenging. An elderly disciple told me that during those particular days, he was the most hardworking and the sweetest, even sweeter than during courtship. I asked him if his wife believed his honeyed words. He said that she was exceptionally happy to hear them and thought he adored her. I have said too much, but I have not revealed who said that. Don’t worry. You are still safe. I feel this example reflects reality. So, leave the area of danger to think and reflect. Your anger will abate; you will become much calmer. If you want to make me happy, just take me out for a meal. What I have said is not a mantra, it is just my own belief.
Acceptance Leads to Happiness
“Hello, Master. I saw people do some destructive things. I detest those people. If one lives in such negative emotion daily, Master, is it an uncompassionate act? How can I walk out of such mentality?” – Righteous Calf
People who anger this way have yet to reach a certain level of cultivation. Once they have cultivated to a certain extent, whatever they see becomes pleasing to the eye. Remember my grandfather, at 76, began to see everything as pleasing to his eye? In China, a grand meditation master from the Song dynasty summarized people’s feelings. From the beginning to the end point where you gain a bit of enlightenment, he concluded about it: At first, you see a mountain as a mountain and water as water. As you progress in your practice, you see a mountain not as a mountain and water not as water. After you complete your practice or have awakened, you again see a mountain as a mountain and water as water. His words almost gave me a mental breakdown. When he said that at first we see a mountain as a mountain, it seemed obvious. It is not a bun. That’s impossible. Is it a piece of wood? No, it is not. When we start to practice, to meditate, we begin to see that the mountain is not a mountain. The mountain appears to be breathing, walking, or it is a bun. Things are confusing and mixed up. Until at last, when you are enlightened, then you will find a mountain is a mountain and water is water. What is this called? It is called “back to the original true nature”.
Let’s talk about the economic situation of some people. When you are poor, you eat ordinary food and strive, telling yourself that once you strike it rich, though you don’t know what the rich eat, you will eat the most expensive, most delicious foods every day. As you become a bit wealthier, you will start to binge, eating lots of expensive food. But after eating like this for a while, you will find you don’t like the food, and your body will suffer from overeating. If you continue eating that way, you might die. The doctor will then tell you to eat basic bread, basic buns, the simplest congee, some salted vegetables, and more greens. These are the healthiest and most nourishing. At this time, you are rich and have eaten and wasted whatever you wanted. Only then do you realize the food you ate when you were young and poor was the best food for your health. In the end, you are back to the beginning. Back to simple meals and a peaceful lifestyle. That is the healthiest way to live.
So, when you see something that makes you unhappy and agitated, all these prove that you are so-called righteous. It also proves that you lack self-control. Can I say this? Yes. If you want to change somebody, first, change your own temper. When I was younger, I thought about this. I don’t know where I got the determination and fearlessness, but I wanted to change the world. I eventually realized I cannot change the world, but the world is changing me so that I can be one with it. I also realized once I complied with the world, I had no anger, even when it was appropriate. I had less anger. Only then did I slowly get used to this world. At first, I was frustrated with the world. Let’s take driving as an example. This is from my personal life. When I pulled into the road, there was a traffic jam before me. I was on a downward slope. I stopped the car and accidently killed the engine. When I started the engine, the car surged forward. I killed the engine again, and the car came to a stop. Then, I didn’t complain about my inability but the designer of that stupid car. First, I complained about the car’s poor design; second, those who build roads. Couldn’t they have built a flat road? Why did they create a hill? I was embarrassed. I could not go forwards or backwards. I could not abandon the car and run away, because it was someone else’s car. I still had a sense of responsibility. Now, I realize the actual problem was I could not drive well. I should not blame anyone else. I could only blame myself for my lack of driving skills.
When I was younger, and in a hurry, I hated coming to a red light. When I got on the road, the traffic light would turn red. It seemed that the more anxious and in a hurry I was, the longer the light stayed red. As I waited, I would count 30 seconds, then again. Why hasn’t it turned green? I was so angry that I blamed other people. Now the fire and smoke within me is extinguished; I think it is all my own fault. Why was I in such a hurry? Once, when I was driving normally, a teenager looked at me, and his expression was saying, “Old man, can you drive as fast as me?” I drove at my normal pace. When I reached the suburbs, it was dark with less streetlights. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash. I pulled over and saw it was the teenager with attitude. I didn’t show any expression but called the police, and helped him get out of the car. He could still talk.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Ha, ha, will you ever drive crazy again?” I thought. I said the unpleasant words silently. I still had to comfort him, “You are lucky that you can still talk. I saved several who couldn’t talk after being pulled out.” He was happy upon hearing my words. Later, we became friends.
We always blame others for being unreasonable. It is their fault. Now, we realize we are wrong. I’m not sure if your problems are similar to mine. I shared my experience with you. We should learn to accept the world. One sentence may be unreasonable: Please pay attention to me. Existence is reasonable. That sentence itself is irrational. Existence of theft or divorce is reasonable? How many people have got hurt by divorce? It hurts here, bleeding in the heart. Right? I asked a divorced man in his 30’s.
“Your ex-wife is very nice and her income is higher than yours. It is hard for others to find such a wife.”
He said, “She is nice to others. Everyone else thinks so. But when you live with her and she explodes, it is like your life is ending. She brandished a knife. Look at the scar on my hand.”
I saw it was a real scar. I asked, “Your words are true?”
“Yes. Why would I lie?” Is such a divorce reasonable? It is very reasonable.
“You’d better leave Vancouver and move to another place where she cannot find you. Otherwise, she will look for you and may kill you.” I not only agreed to his getting divorced, but also to his moving to a new country or back to his motherland. Thus, don’t hope to change the world. Don’t hope to change other people. Change yourself. If you want to change the world and others, first start with yourself.
Taking Decisive Action Accordingly to Achieve Our Ultimate Goal
“I’m always hesitant. I overanalyze. I worry a lot. Master, how can I change myself?” –Sentimental Cat
All these problems are similar. When executing tasks and dealing with problems, many people are indecisive and hesitant. It seems that we will often judge and compare. When we do that too much, we are unable to use a firmer, more resolute approach in problem-solving. This applies on a case-by-case basis. Some matters need to be dealt with decisively. Say, I have a particularly brilliant student who stutters when he speaks. He went for a drive with his father. They drove into a mountainous region at night. Suddenly, a car drove toward them. He had to reverse. The road was very narrow and dangerous. His father said, “Son, get out and guide me.” My disciple stuttered as he spoke: “Backwards … Backwards …” In just a second, the car tumbled down a hill. Luckily, a tree cushioned him from falling to his death. Once he climbed to the road, he slapped his son.
“Why did you keep saying ‘backwards’?”
He said, “I tried to say ‘not backwards’, but while I was saying ‘backwards’, you and the car were already gone.”
So, be decisive whenever you need to be. When there’s no need to be decisive, then let things be. Say, regarding divorce, when the other party initiates the divorce, don’t agree right away. Instead, be gentle and take some time. Consider marriage similarly. When someone proposes marriage, don’t agree too quickly, and don’t be wooed too easily. Don’t give your hand too hastily. OK? This allows time for consideration. What if there is a better one? I once taught a retreat in New York. A practitioner said: “Master, you’ve been teaching all the time. I’ll take you sightseeing in New York.” Great! I lucked out with this talented disciple who had a Ph.D. He drove, and I felt very blessed. Initially, I was sleepy, but, eventually, I was more excited than he was. The ride was so scary for me! While driving over a high bridge, he held his phone with one hand and steered with the other. I was caught in a swerving frenzy. Another swerve would have sent me flying out the window. I was shocked to the core! At that time, I questioned my composure, my practice and wondered how I became a master. I firmly held on to the dashboard, as the seatbelt seemed not secure enough. Then I was trying to calm him: “Calm down, calm down. Can you chant?” He replied, “I drive just as fast while chanting.” He was very firm about this. But at 2 p.m., we still had not found a restaurant, even though there were many, but he kept mulling it over.
“Master, shall I take you for Chinese or Western cuisine?”
When we finally picked a restaurant, it was 3 p.m. already. We had driven around for two hours, and finally ended up at McDonald’s! All because of his indecisiveness. Be decisive when you need to be. The same goes for the ‘backwards’ car accident. When it comes to food, many people think about what they will have for dinner. Many people spend hours discussing what to eat from 5 to 8:30 p.m. Finally, they just eat leftover rice at home. This is their ultimate solution. Don’t hesitate over such a small issue. Also, we need to know our direction. First, we have to understand our purpose. Next, decide what to do. Then things become easy. Instead of asking whether I prefer Chinese or Western. This indecisiveness causes everyone to be famished. Starvation can turn an elegant person into a warrior. Nevertheless, I’m wholeheartedly grateful for America’s fast food. Usually, after we are indecisive about what to eat, we end up at McDonald’s, so we can grab food fast. It is really not bad.
But sometimes, many choices arise because of our privileged life. This morning, several young practitioners discussed this issue with me. A beautiful young girl showing her phone, “Master, please help me choose someone.”
“For what? How about this one? Hmm … Is he a superstar?”
“He is no superstar. He just likes me.”
“This one is good-looking.”
“Look, there are four or five boys. Master, please choose one.”
“I’m not the one looking for a partner.”
Yet, I was asked to choose for her while we were having a meeting. In the end, I chose all five boys, as they all looked pleasant. They were all quite handsome. You would be moved at the sight of them. Before I reached a decision, a long-time disciple and bachelorette who was sitting next to me said, “You asked Master to choose. If it were my choice, I’d just grab the first one that came by and cherish him. You have four choices, and you cannot decide. When Master chose one, you disagreed and still wanted to check out the remaining three. If you want my advice, pick one and be content. What other choices do you have? You should feel grateful for having so many choices.”
So when you have so many choices, the better they are, the tougher your decision is. Which one is more suitable? Actually, I do not know which one. Just choose one. That will do. Then your depression will disappear. Otherwise, for the rest of the year, you will suffer heartbreak. In the end, you still cannot decide. We should learn to feel whether it is good or bad to be with this person. If you feel good with the others, that will not work because you already have one. Please keep that in mind. People on this side disagree. Those sitting in this area might have questions. Especially for those who are already married, if you have a partner, and fall for a second or third one, please let go of them, settle your heart. If you already have one, be content. The people sitting in this area answered very hesitantly. You have too many options! Too many choices can lead to harm and make one depressed. Those people who have no choice will grab the first opportunity. This is far more precious! My answers end here.