【Description】
There is often conflict between parents and children over the latter’s future path. What the child wants and what the parents expect may differ. This is especially true when it’s time for the child to choose a profession.
How can we resolve this parent-child struggle? Let’s tune in to the wisdom of Grandmaster JinBodhi.
【Content】
(Hello, Master. My major was chosen by my parents. I don’t like it. What should I do?)
In my opinion, you must consider your parents’ suggestions first. Reasonable, wise parents know their child well. Through longtime observation and consideration, they know your preferences and intelligence, so they suggest you choosing a certain major; for example, art.
But what should you do if you prefer computer science? You should engage in calm discussion with your parents. Understand the reason they suggest that major. Listen to them carefully. Take notes while listening. Then tell them what you think. Tell your parents about your preferences and goals.
Consider your parents’ suggestions first. In this class, most kids are 18 to 20; many of them have inappropriate goals. Having a goal can help you gain motivation, which is good. But if you have an unrealistic goal, you can’t make a feasible plan or take effective action.
I asked a kid, “What do you want to become?” He said, “I want to be a martial arts master.” “Do you want to be a master in your dreams or in real life?” “In real life, of course, and I will earn big money by accepting lots of apprentices.” “But you need to practice really hard to become a martial arts master.” “So that is only my dream.”
“A dream is the goal of your life. You need to take action to realize your dream.” “Have you ever practiced?” “Sometimes.” “Over how long a period?” “3 months.” “Forget about being a master of martial arts. You can’t even win your wife.”
To achieve your goal, you need to practice diligently. So when choosing your career, you should consider your parents’ suggestions first, and then express your preferences. You need to analyze your choices reasonably. Some make decisions based on instinct.
Here is a story about Napoleon. When Napoleon was a kid, he went to a family gathering. Some elders asked the kids about their ambitions. Some wanted to be doctors. Some wanted to own large estates. Napoleon said, “My ambition is big.” “The bigger, the better. Just say it.” “I want to become the emperor of France. I want to command millions of soldiers to conquer the world.”
His uncle ridiculed his idea. “You’re a daydreamer.” But his father told the uncle, “Don’t mock the kid’s ambition.” “Alright”, his uncle said. “I think you can become a good fictionist. You are really talented at daydreaming. Your dream is impossible. Have a good look at your grandpa and your dad, how can they raise a son to become an emperor?”
Surprisingly, Napoleon said, “Uncle, please look up to the sky. There is a star summoning me all the time.” “Are you insane? How can there be a star during daytime?” “You can’t see it because the sky is so bright during the day. My star will show its magnificent light at night. It is guiding me. As long as my star is there, I will persist in my great ambition.”
This was what he said. Perhaps it was his ambition that made him the emperor of France. Being an emperor may not be an appropriate goal in modern times. This ambition motivated Napoleon to become the emperor of France. This ambition was Napoleon’s dream; it was not a genetic inheritance. That is why a dream is so important.
We make many choices in our lives. Some decisions are based on rational thinking, but some are beyond rational thinking.
What should I do with the major chosen by my parents?
1. Consider your parents’ suggestions first.
2. Analyze your preferences reasonably.
3. Some dreams are beyond rational thinking.