【Description】
You speak the most freely with those you are close to, such as parents, spouse and children; these are also the people you hurt the most with your words. In this video, Grandmaster JinBodhi humorously advices on the importance of using the right tone when speaking by referring to the speaking style of typical Chinese mothers.
Speak warmly and you shall be blessed with happiness.
【You will learn】
- Ways to make your home warm and loving
- How to use speech to improve relationships
【Featured aphorisms】
- Interaction between family members is like cooking. Use the wrong method and the dish is spoiled; use the right method and the ingredients transform into a delicious dish.
【Content】
A gentle heart. A gentle posture. A gentle palm.
Gentle Words Bring Happiness
In most Chinese families, words spoken from people closest to us usually bring harm. That is how it is. Especially mothers. When a woman becomes a mother, she talks to her child like a hunter to a wolf. When a wife becomes a mother, her husband either becomes her child or a criminal. “Do you want to eat or not?” It comes from good intentions, but when it’s said by a wife becoming a mother, it could be very humiliating for the other person. “Should I do it or not?” It makes others feel uncomfortable. These habits have to change.
Start by having a compassionate mindset, and adding another important element. Compassion and gentleness. A gentle heart, gentle postures, gentle tones, speaking gently, gentle eyes, gentle palms. I am unsure how Southern Chinese people speak. Chinese Northerners say, “Eat now or I will beat you to death.” Many mothers are able to “beat their kids to death” many times a day. So to survive in their mothers’ hands till 18 isn’t easy. They would have “died” countless times.
This method I think is quite interesting. But it lacks a sense of art, humor and joy. If you act like this, between superior and subordinate and between parents and children, a lot of happiness would be gone. When this becomes a habit, speaking gently and normally feels awkward. As parents, seniors, or as bosses and government officials, we should try to speak gently and with warmth.
We may assume that knowing each other well in a family, we don’t have to be too polite. But I think it is like cooking a dish; it still needs adequate methods, right? Suitable methods are able to transform mediocre dishes into gourmet ones. If the wrong method is used, then it would be hard for us to eat. Thus, the right methods could bring happiness and make cherished memories last.