【Description】
It is natural for parents to love their children. However, once their children take their love for granted, it takes away their sense of reverence and gratitude towards their parents. The children may even complain or curse their parents when they do not get what they want.
Fulfilling desires by taking is human nature; it could lead to calamities and disasters when it is done excessively. As the saying goes, “Giving brings more returns than receiving”; you are blessed with happiness and auspiciousness when you give. When it comes to selfless offering, no one does it better than parents.
Please learn more about parental love from Grandmaster JinBodhi in this video and discover the secret of obtaining true wealth and auspiciousness in life.
【You will learn】
- Understanding parental kindness and showing gratitude and respect to parents
- The causes of illness and ways to deal with it
- The benefits of making an offering
【Featured aphorisms】
- Many diseases are due to causality.
- Showing filial piety and respect to your parents blesses you and future generations with wealth and auspiciousness.
- The act of offering eliminates calamities and brings wealth and auspiciousness.
- Those who give shall be blessed with Heaven’s protection, wisdom and wealth.
【Content】
Many people believe that they are practicing Buddhism, but they see no relation between themselves and the Buddha’s compassion, but they don’t relate themselves with the Buddha’s compassion. They think as long as they don’t hurt others intentionally, that makes them very good people. Yet, in real life, the people closest to us, such as our friends and family, are the ones we treat the most unfairly, especially our parents.
The day a child is born is the day a woman becomes a mother. Your mom used to be a pure, clean, innocent and sweet woman. She lived happily and had no worries at all. That changed when you were born. Every day she was busy because of you. No matter how clean you are now, you didn’t know where to poop when you were a newborn. Your mom would stay awake at night because you cried for food every 1-2 hours. You brought burden to your mother’s body. She cleaned up your poop every 1-2 hours. Some mothers had it easier, because their children didn’t poop that often. She is your mom and had to clean up after you. It sounds very disgusting. Can you imagine yourself doing that? That is what your mom did.
She worried all the time about your physical and mental development. When you still didn’t understand a word, she taught you colors, shapes and some simple words. When you were in the womb, she talked to you and told you bedtime stories. Right, having a child is tiresome. And then, it was time to worry about your education. Your education wasn’t cheap, you know. Your parents worked hard to put you into the top kindergarten, school and college.
Having kids means providing them with the best of everything. When there is good food, your mom says, “I don’t like it.” Parents do this all the time, especially Chinese parents. Meat is expensive, but parents want children to eat it: “I don’t like it, you can have it.” They bought new clothes for their children to celebrate Chinese New Year. They wouldn’t buy new clothes for themselves. They want to save money for their children’s new clothes. The day your mom shows off her more presentable clothes is your wedding day. And that was given to her by your grandparents. It is probably outdated.
Some had a son who couldn’t marry until he had money to buy a house. The parents would think about selling their organs to get enough money to find a wife for their son. They would do everything for their children. When hardworking parents buy a new car, the baby gets their own baby seat for safety reasons. To them, their children are precious gems. The hardships of parents are only known when you become a parent yourself. You will know a parent when you become one yourself.
Some children take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. They think that is what parents do. They take their parents for granted, thinking, “Isn’t that what parents do?” That is understandable when you are still a kid, but not when you are an adult. A mature adult should at least be grateful. Without a sense of gratitude, you are no different than a child, and there will be karmic punishments awaiting you. How will ungrateful sons and daughters be punished? They die alone, without their children by their side. It is all in the laws of karma.
Your children will also be influenced by you. What you do to your parents, you get it back from your children. They learn it from their parents, and that is you. They will treat you 10 times worse, as that is your karmic punishment. You will find out when you become old. There are many old, homeless people who have been abandoned by their children. That is a very pitiful scene, right? Usually, out of sympathy, we would offer them food or some money. However, there is always a cause behind every occurrence. That is causality, or karma. What you do to your parents, your children will do to you.
Raising a child takes decades. The thing is, we often blame our parents for being unfair. This could be uneven property inheritance, your siblings getting more attention, etc. You feel like you are being raised by a stepmother. I think parents’ kindness is often misunderstood. Our parents never stop sacrificing. They keep doing it until there is nothing left to sacrifice. The thing is, children seldom appreciate their sacrifices. That is why some people suffer incurable ailments. Even a vast amount of money can’t help, but the illness disappears when the people repent.
Take your headache, which has tormented you for years. A years-long stubborn headache is gone after you chant for repentance. That is the Buddha and the deities’ punishment in response to your lack of respect for your parents, for spewing rude words at your parents, and being ungrateful to your parents. Your headaches, chest and back pain and internal-organ issues are the results of your evil thoughts and disrespect toward your parents. You get punished for all the bad things you do.
There are various punishments, not just what I have mentioned. Various kinds of sufferings in life will befall us out of causality. Chanting yesterday alleviated some of your ailments, right? Those ailments were mistakes you committed out of a lack of wisdom. Those were the pains you inflicted on your parents and people you owe. If the mistakes were heavier, you could be paying with your life. Say, you are supposed to live until the age of 88. After causing so much pain to the people I have mentioned, you could die earlier, say, when you are 60. In more severe cases, your children could also be affected. Their life could also end sooner than expected.
You don’t want that, do you? Nobody wants that, but it happens. Why? The Law of Nature never forgets anyone. Nobody escapes from it. I am not trying to scare you. Ancient philosophers long ago discovered this truth. They came up with one conclusion: Nobody escapes the Law of Nature. Punishments can come late, but no one escapes. At the right time, what happens, happens. Those destined to die, die; those destined to suffer will suffer. Everything will happen.
I have seen lots of health issues which occurred not because of genetics, diet, financial stress, or pressure at work or school. They occurred because of mistakes made in the current lifetime. What they sow, they reap. I place great importance on gratitude toward our parents. Why is it so important? I seldom speak so harshly in my class. Your actions can cause severe consequences. Many parents die with regret because of the great pain their children caused out of immaturity.
Causing parents to die with regrets due to your immaturity is an unfilial act of disrespect. In such a case, they will never die with peace. Their deaths do not mark the end. Everything is just starting. Next, you will feel something wrong with your body. You have fallen ill and lost your luck, intelligence and wealth. You will find out that your children no longer listen to you. They have become a lot more rebellious than you were. These are all the signs of the start of one’s karmic sufferings.
Some also ask why they are still suffering despite having learned meditation under me for a decade. That is because you didn’t care about what I said. You kept thinking your parents were wrong, and that you are innocent and the one who has been hurt. If you don’t realize that you are wrong, those ailments will stay with you. After yesterday’s chanting, many released mental knots and became aware of the pain they have caused out of immaturity.
Your parents raised you for decades, so you shouldn’t hate them or forget their kindness over trivial matters. Some never even call their parents for 10 years. It is the same sin if you do this to people you should be grateful to. This is sinning out of selfishness, ignorance, vileness and evil. Sometimes, the karmic punishments don’t just fall on you, but also on your children. That is the scary part. The punishments can come in all shapes and happen everywhere. Scary, right?
It is not as simple as you think. You stay away from the sea to avoid drowning, right? You could do that, but the Law of Nature is inevitable. Thus, what we need to do is learn to be grateful to our parents for raising us. From being immature and ignorant, to learning to appreciate our parents and treat them better, this is actually beneficial to ourselves and our future generations.
(Parents’ sacrifices are not always appreciated. Ungratefulness leads to karmic punishments. For the wellbeing of future generations, be grateful and repent for mistakes.)
In Buddhism, in order to obtain health, happiness and enlightenment, one should practice the “6 Perfections”. Generosity. Discipline. Tolerance. Diligence. Meditation. Wisdom. That is all 6 of them.
After a child is born, despite being ignorant about the world, they know one thing: When they are hungry, Mommy has food. The baby knows where food is and what it looks like. No teaching is required; it is instinctive. Who teaches the infant to feed on Mommy’s milk? No need for that; they know instinctively. It is Heaven’s gift to every infant after birth. A newborn knows nothing except finding food. Is this selfishness? Only a bodhisattva can survive without food after birth. They don’t die, but their mother will. Their mother will be worried to death.
Humans in ancient times knew that having food kept them alive. What else? Animal furs would protect them from the cold, right? It is all for survival. Through millions of years, we have inherited such survival instincts from our ancestors. We are aware that winter means adding more clothes, and that delicious, nutritious food keeps us full and alive. Humans will keep fulfilling their desires in order to survive. Is this right or wrong?
Let me tell you: It is right. Many will disagree with me. Then are you saying that you feeding from your mother was wrong? It is not wrong; it is a basic survival act. When everyone has this need, it becomes a habit. “I like this food.” “I like these clothes.” “This guy is so handsome. I think I am in love.” “This girl is so beautiful. My heart is fluttering.” I have desire in various material aspects. Is making an offering an act which transcends this desire? That depends on how you understand it.
What do humans desire first after birth? Their mother’s milk, right? This is not taught; it is an instinct. Such instinct is a blessing from Heaven. Humans are different from goats and deer. The latter needs to learn how to stand 10 minutes after birth. After standing, the next lesson is to run fast after their mother. If they are not fast enough, they become food. Humans are different. 7-year-olds could end up as food in the wild. Their leg muscles are not fully developed. They can’t live without their mother’s care.
As such, human desire is endless starting at birth, which is not wrong. It is perfectly normal. The first person we turn to after birth is our mother, right? Our mother is not only a parent. Agreed? She has another identity. She is the first person to offer us something. She is the first buddha/bodhisattva we encounter after being born. She’s the first person who offered something to us. When one desires, another gives. Our first experience of receiving came from our mother. But we are not grateful for this. We thought of our mother as merely our food bank. Our cries intensified in protest when we didn’t get our food.
As grownups, we don’t feed on our mother’s milk anymore; we use our parents’ hard-earned money to buy food. We forget how they raised us and just keep taking. Some think that it is impossible to not do that; it is natural to take, while giving is wrong. Most people think this way. Many humans die at the hands of what they pursue. One can only survive if one has food and wealth. Then they can become stronger.
Why do some keep storing food even after their stomachs are full? To make sure they become stronger and have food for next year. In the past, most countries relied on agriculture to survive. People had to think about scenarios wherein the next harvest failed, but they still had to have money to buy food. They wanted to store food and money to prepare for next year. When it is drought season, many people die of hunger.
Today’s society is somewhat urbanized. Nobody grows crops in big cities now. We don’t have enough land for that. Everything is bought using money nowadays. As such, most people feel nothing if a bad harvest occurs. A bad harvest doesn’t hit today’s modern world as much as a stock market crash; it happened in 2008, right? What else worries today’s modern world? Recession and unemployment.
What affects you more depends on the time and space you live in. So, in order to make sure their lives are unaffected, people strive to constantly take and store for future use. It is not wrong. Then why did Sakyamuni Buddha stress the importance of giving and offering? Sometimes, the more you store, the more dangers you face.
Imagine a rich man surrounded by poor people. He has gold, silver, food, and he keeps livestock too. When everyone is poor and you are the only rich guy, you are in a dangerous situation. It is like skating on thin ice. If there were 100 families around you, 50 of them would want you dead. They want your wealth because they are starving. If there is a newborn child and the mother has no milk because she has no food, the father would break the law. Stealing, robbing, anything goes. What if the rich guy fights back? Kill him. These things happen.
The question is, how much? How much wealth should you keep? The wealth keeper has to be smart. The more children you have, the bigger your burden is. The more livestock you keep, the more money you spend on them. That means less money for yourself. There should be a limit on how much wealth you keep. The right amount will keep you auspicious. Too much wealth is disaster.
There was a famous saying by a philosopher in Ancient China. I forget his name. He said, “Never strive to lead.” What does it mean? It means whatever you do, don’t be the best. It will put you in grave danger. Whatever you have too much of will be bad for you. You should have a limit.
Now, back to one of the 6 Perfections: generosity. Although wanting is not wrong, it is dangerous if you overdo it. How does the rich guy stay auspicious while surrounded by poor people? By giving. Why stock up on so much food? Donate some, since he can’t finish it all by himself. There are kids dying because their mothers couldn’t produce milk. The old and sick have no money to buy medicine. He could pay their medical bills, right? He could buy food with his money and donate it to the poor.
When the rich guy can afford private tutors for his children while the other kids in the village stay uneducated, it is dangerous. With compassion, humanity and culture, he would donate to build a school and hire teachers for the kids in the village. You could turn wealth into auspiciousness when you attract more praise than hate. Generosity will keep you safe. Not only can offering save lives, but more importantly, it also gives you spiritual elevation.
All great emperors in the past were the ones who gave the most. The action of giving protects you from danger, benefits others and gets you many real friends. When you lend life-saving money to someone who truly needs it, you will have a friend for life. Many appreciate those who lend a helping hand in desperate times. Spiritual height is always about your state of mind and broadmindedness. From being selfish, one can become great, noble and understanding.
Nobody likes stingy people. Agreed? Imagine a millionaire who never helps the poor, instead saying, “It is none of my business.” Nobody likes this kind of people. The act of offering transforms an ordinary, selfish person into someone who cares for his village or community. If you want to go higher than that, you think about benefiting the whole world.
When a new medicine is invented, the inventor hopes it reaches all over the world. You seldom hear that a medicine is invented to benefit a certain country only. No way. I am talking about the inventor, not the shipper. Medications are invented to benefit as many people as possible. That is why medical experts work beyond geographical borders. Why? To serve the whole world.
Surely the hepatitis B vaccine wasn’t created to benefit certain countries only; say, South Korea only. Right? Money will come if the vaccine is truly effective. When the vaccines are shipped, people around the globe who benefit from them will be grateful. And then the vaccine creator will be loved and respected. What kind of president do the people vote for during elections? A president who understands what the people need, right?
People with a great heart for giving will improve themselves gradually to become more broadminded and have a higher vision that addresses the needs of more people. People like this are usually a lot wiser and more capable than others. And they will continue to get wiser. More wisdom means greater capability. Generous people are easily content with what they have. As such, they are not stingy when it comes to helping the poor. That is real wisdom.
To have wisdom, first, learn to be generous. Generosity transforms your life. Generosity is rare, while selfishness and greed are more common. That is human nature. Amidst the negative parts of human nature, there are still traces of a bodhisattva’s compassion. Like I said, a mother never refuses her child’s request for food, right? Why? You could call this the compassion in humanity. It is also referred to as the Buddha-nature. It is also part of our human nature, just like greed and selfishness.
The act of offering cultivates the compassionate nature of a buddha in us. At the same time, it keeps greed and selfishness under control. Thus, we will become more noble. People will be moved by our actions and want to love us not because of our physical power, but our compassion. These are the people needed by the public. Great compassion is a quality that takes time and offerings to cultivate. When a bodhisattva becomes a mayor or president, the people will live in happiness. When a president who will solve the people’s problems gets elected, the people of the country are indeed blessed.
Offering is important. It brings happiness. If people don’t make offerings, they miss out on the joy of it. Try to recall your first offering to your first child: breastfeeding. Do you feel pain or happiness? (Happiness.) Yes, you feel happy despite losing something. We also call that dharma joy. Giving creates happiness for you. The first time a mother breastfeeds, she sheds tears of happiness. As the saying goes, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” People who give are the happiest, richest and most blessed people. It’s true.
From the perspective of the Law of Nature, Heaven rewards generous people with wealth and wisdom. No way stingy people are blessed with wealth. If it does happen, it is a mere coincidence. Usually, wealth is bestowed upon compassionate people, right? Compassionate people will offer their wealth when the public needs it. They donate it when people need it. Most importantly, please remember: Offering triggers our spiritual elevation.
A mother would claim that breastfeeding her own child is normal and that she doesn’t see it as an act of offering. Alright, that is OK. How about offering to people without a biological connection with you? It can be your strength, money, skills or anything useful. Offer to them when they need it. When your help has been delivered, how do you feel? Emotional, joyous, and you have a sense of achievement. Then, your character starts transforming. From a selfish person, you are slowly transforming into a wise, bodhisattva-like goddess.
What significance does such experience bring? Why do we worship the Divine beings from various religions? Because of their great compassion, right? At our most difficult moment, don’t we wish for the guidance of a wise deity to save our lives? People hope the deities exist. Offering can transform us, bring us to a deity-like state.
Liberating all sentient beings is a huge goal. You can start by trying to help 10 people in your village. Then when you are afflicted, tell your troubles to them. Then wait to witness the miracle. Those people who you have helped will make your troubles disappear. That is how miraculous it is. Try it. That is for helping 10 people. What if you have helped 1,000 people? A gathering of friends is all it takes to solve your troubles. Elevate your morality and character; that is most important. Then, you will live more at ease. Being happy and at ease is good for stimulating wisdom and creativity.
There is a lot you can give. We mentioned money, skills, knowledge, time, etc. Volunteering is also a kind of offering. It is not money, but your time. That is also offering. Offerings can take many forms. If you can sing, you can offer your voice. You can sing positive songs to inspire and cheer up someone. These are all considered offerings. Of course, the highest level and the most effective offering is still dharma offering. Dharma offerings can help others achieve enlightenment and freedom from suffering. It brings the most merits and is the most meaningful kind of offering. The more meaningful your offerings are, the more elevation they bring.
(Fulfilling desires is our human nature; be moderate. Greed brings disasters; offering brings auspiciousness. Buddha and evil coexist in every human being. Offering cultivates our Buddha-nature, elevates us and brings merits.)