Her impulse to try a new hairstyle caused her to miss a great opportunity. What happened?

Our instant like or dislike for someone may be driven by fate. We can be fated to be drawn to someone upon meeting them for the first time; conversely, we may be fated to reject someone immediately because of their smell, makeup, hairstyle, etc.

Listen to Grandmaster JinBodhi’s story about the writer with a coconut-tree hairstyle, and find out how first impressions are an expression of fate.

【You will learn】

  • Inexplicable reasons why you like or hate a person
  • Story of the writer with a “coconut tree” hairstyle

【Featured aphorism】

  • The feeling that occurs in an instant is a manifestation of a karmic connection.


First impressions are the expression of the fated connection between people.

The Writer With the Coconut-Tree Hairstyle

The karmic bond is an interesting thing. You can love someone the moment you meet them. Similar to how you felt when you met me. Yes, that can happen. Or you find him delicious and say, “You are my cup of tea.” Right. You guys like me, so I am worried about this problem. In China, people commonly say, “Wow, you are my dish.” What a bully. You treat the person as a dish and say, “He is mine.” No matter what you want with him, whether it is wanting to eat him or just that you feel happy when seeing him, at least it is a sign of affection.

The opposite of affection is rejection. There are people you hate as soon as you meet them. It can be that you hate his voice, his puffy hair, or you hate how her eyebrows are drawn all the way to her ears, way too long. I hate the red lipstick she wears. It is like she drank blood. Sometimes there is just no reason. It is a general feeling. It is not about their outfits, makeup, hairstyles, etc. There is a force of resistance and opposition when you meet them. Some say, “I hate his smell.” When he comes in, wow, he is full of that smell. It is not necessarily body odor, but you just hate it; this applies especially to romance. Say, you don’t like someone you date because of his/her looks or hairstyle. Actually, it is easy to change hairstyles. But because of his hairstyle, you don’t want to be in a relationship with him. A lot of breakups happen for this reason.

Once, I dismissed the idea of a partnership because I didn’t like the person’s hairstyle. Someone recommended to me a person who is good at writing. We had our own news column so I thought she could help with writing or editing. I saw her work in advance; it was quite good. But when I met her in person, I didn’t find her likable. Her hair was permed like a turnip top. It is like she had cut a turnip in half and put it on her head with hairs sticking out the top of it. Kind of like the coconut tree in Malaysia. How did I feel when I saw her? I was worried that the tree would fall anytime. That is why we didn’t work together.

When you meet some people, there are many problems that make you uncomfortable. With regard to the face and head, if her hairstyle looked like a normal human’s, I would find her quite nice, right? Her articles are well-written. But when you meet her, you suddenly want to put a tree on your head. Well, that is life. It is also called fate. When I saw that her hair was like that, I felt there was something wrong with her head. After that, she kept sending me letters saying she is fine. She just suddenly had an impulse that day, and didn’t think that the style would have such a negative impact. She feels regretful. The next time we meet she will have changed her hair again. I am afraid to see her.

Right. This is called fate. It is difficult to explain. There are people fated to have a weaker connection with you. Right. We just can’t be friends. In the process of fate, I am discussing with everyone the fact that first impressions are an expression of fate.

We should also learn a bit about how to establish many positive connections in the future.