【Description】
From the moment a child is born, their parents are the people they look to first and foremost. Every word and action from the parents will be seen and imitated by the child.
As a parent, how can you best fulfill your crucial calling to be a role model for your child? Please listen to Grandmaster JinBodhi’s wise advice.
【You will learn】
- How to be a compassionate elder.
- How to cultivate children who are loving and respectful toward elders.
【Featured aphorisms】
- Children will imitate the behavior of their parents, whether it be right or wrong.
- To be good role models for their children, parents must show love and respect for their elders.
【Content】
As a father or mother, you have to instill moral values in your child.
How can parents be their child’s role models?
The key is to start to understand a state of mind called compassion. We term it benevolence. As a mother, you embody compassion. As a wife, treat your husband well, with kindness and broadmindedness. The best way to treat your children is to cultivate their minds.
Generally, typical social knowledge is taught by teachers in school. As your child grows, he is exposed to many social behaviors such as drug addiction and trafficking. Such undesirable habits bring harm to oneself and others. These arise from a lack of compassionate moral education.
As a responsible parent, you have to imbue your child with moral values. Moral education is complicated and difficult. However challenging it is, parents, especially mothers, should not be afraid of the challenges. You must nurture values and correct behaviors in the child.
Starting at home, respect your elders. How do you respect elders and your parents? As a daughter-in-law, your bad attitude toward your in-laws is considered unacceptable. Your child observes your behaviors naively. As a mother and a daughter-in-law, if your parents-in-law are with you, what is your attitude? When it is mealtime, you call out harshly, “Go get your grandma!” Using harsh words and tones will confuse your child. “Grandma is good to me, but mom is rude to her.”
One day, the mother will explain to her child. Surely one day, whether it is a fact or a lie, she will tell her child that Grandma treated her badly. This explanation is just an excuse for her bad attitude and action. How will this affect your child? This is setting a bad example for his future. How will your son treat you after he is married? If you have a daughter, how will she treat her future in-laws?
Without knowing right from wrong, she will do what she knows. She will remember how her mom treated her grandma. “I will follow suit when I get married.” “It is good enough that I included her at mealtimes.” “Come and eat, you old lady!” The dishes are meant for your child. Most parents love their children more. Elders are not allowed to eat or touch some special dishes. In some extreme cases, when an elder tries to take some food, a pair of chopsticks extend to stop him. I find such behaviors unacceptable.
The upbringing of a child requires parents to start learning first. Learn to be a compassionate elder. Be mindful of your manners. Once you get married and have children of your own, they will model what you do. Unable to differentiate right from wrong, they emulate their parents.
Children whose parents do butchering as a livelihood may end up learning about killing. The children of a blacksmith are talented at toolmaking. Making a spoon is an easy feat for them. He learns from watching and listening to his father every day. However you are as a parent, your child will model after you, naturally.
Thus, let’s cultivate compassion and practice it in our daily life. We are benevolent, so we have sympathy, empathy, kindness and tolerance. If you are able to include my teaching and assimilate it into your spiritual world, your life will start to transform.
Parents are children’s best teachers. If you want to bring up a model child, examine your speech and manners, treat people with compassion, and set a good example for your children.